Random Tall Tales

"It was a dark and stormy night..."  In the first place this is slightly redundant--it was night, therefore it was dark.  And I don't know how stormy it actually was, but I do know the wind was blowing.  For some strange reason, the latch on the screen door does not work, so whenever the wind blows, we have to make sure that we lock the door or it flaps merrily in the wind--making a lot of racket and threatening to break the glass.

For some reason, I had forgotten to lock the screen before I went to bed and I didn't really ever hear the door banging in the wind.  Oh, and I can't forget that the door also squeeks and screeches like a Halloween sound effect...I didn't hear the door--what I thought I heard was mice.  We have been waging war against the mice and are not always the victor...Anyway, I was sure that I heard mice squeeking and rattling in the cabinet under the kitchen sink!

When I explained this to Kent, he looked at me oddly.  "I only heard the screen door.  Why didn't you get up and lock it?"

"Well, because...I thought I was hearing mice."

"Mice??  Any mice making that kind of noise you only want to see over the sights of the gun barrel."

"No, no, no!!!"  I exclaimed, "You may not shoot the mice!"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want my kitchen walls to be ventilated!"

"But it would be a great way to get a new kitchen," explained Kent.  (We need to remodel the kitchen, but it's not in the budget just yet.)

"Ha!"  I commented.  "I wouldn't get a new kitchen.  Oh, no!  I'd have to go around and repair all the holes that you shot in the walls with flattened tin cans.  I can see it all now.  'Look, Dear, I did it all by myself.  I fixed the holes with the bottom of a  shortening can.'  Or maybe you could make the holes big enough and we could stuff them with old glass bottles."

All nonsense aside, we did have a lovely, restful Thanksgiving and my bathroom sink is now repaired and draining nicely.  I can now entertain myself by watching the water happily drain instead of backing up gurglingly into the sink.