I have this little problem--make that a huge problem. I overthink things. I had a friend point this out over the weekend, and it's true. I absolutely do this.
Here is the latest "for instance"...I have a couple orders that I need to get beads made for and make some bookmarks and jewelry and send the whole thing away soon. Several of the things in the orders are going to need metallic black beads. I am running a little short of matallic black and one of the orders needs a metallic black monster. Monsters tend to take a lot more glass than I normally use. Then I need to make about sixteen small metallic black beads to finish the other orders. So do I get started on this? No, I do not. Instead I worry...
Summer is here and I'm off work, so I don't have a lot of fun money. I KNOW ordering glass isn't frivolous--it's a necessity. I know this perfectly well. If I don't have glass, I can't make beads. If I can't make beads, I can't make jewelry and other doodads to sell. However, as much as I know this, I don't FEEL it. Ordering glass still feels like a silly self-indulgence. So I'm working on this problem.
Today I sat down with my torch and started to make my metallic black beads. Not only do I not have very much metallic black, but it is a fussy glass that likes to shatter if I'm not careful. So I started with a small rod and set it on my torch marver (a flat graphite surface to roll hot glass on) to preheat. Then I very carefully melted it in the cooler part of the flame, so it wouldn't shatter. I made several beads with this small amount of glass. I looked at my larger glass rod...and looked at it some more. Finally I said to myself, "OK! Just do it already! Make the monster and stop stressing about it. That way you'll know how much glass you have left and if you need to order any more."
I made that silly metallic black monster. He has gooseberry green eyes and non-metallic black toes and fingers and a bright red heart. He is adorable and will make a great bookmark.
And after all that stressing out, over-thinking and worrying, I still have plenty of metallic black glass. Enough to finish all the beads that I need and probably some left over.